I would be lying if I told you I never imagined us together in the future. Of course I have, doesn't everybody do that? There were times when I thought we were meant to be. You made me happy with the simple gestures you did. You'd always text me non-stop, chat with me when I was out of prepaid load. When we'd stay out late to do our group projects, you'd always send me home afterwards. One time, when we stayed out 'till dawn with a couple of friends you still volunteered to escort me home even if it was not on your way home.
But then came the time when, out of nowhere, I'd feel so annoyed with you and just not respond to your messages and efforts to talk to me. I'd always be the one acting weird. I'd act cold when I got tired of your attention and that could go on for days even weeks or months, I couldn't keep count of it all. That happened multiple times. I'm sorry. And whenever you'd get tired of me, I'd always stop and tell you I still want what we have. But, it kept happening. I decide we were better off as friends, but I missed the attention you gave me. I kept giving you false hope about us. Again, I'm sorry.
Now that I think of it, I could've tried harder if only I knew what it was like to be in a real relationship. But the thing was, I still don't know how. You always gave me your 100% effort while I only gave you 40% of mine. You didn't deserve that. I was so unfair. I knew you loved me more than I could ever love you back. I remember that drunk text, I used to laugh about that. But now that I think of it, even when you were drunk and out of your proper wits, I was the one you could think of. You were busy mending the heart I broke while I was just enjoying my life with the girls.
No matter how many times I broke your heart, you were always there for me. You were willing to listen to me and my whining when no one was. Thank you so much for that, you're the best guy friend any girl would've asked for. You even consoled me when the guy I liked back then left me hanging. I can't imagine how hurt you were at that time. Were you? You were so strong while I was just trying to live with what life offers me. The only time I was brave enough was when I told your friend I loved him. That didn't even pay off right, it was wrong and embarrassing. I wanted you to hate me because I know I deserve it for treating you like shit. But you didn't, you told me you could never hate the person you loved. You were such a good person, you deserved someone better than me. I was unfair. I'm sorry.
When I knew you liked my friend, I was happy for you. That same night, you told me you wanted to walk with me while holding my hand after you confessed to her, I refused because I respected her. I just tried being a good friend because I knew we were so over and you deserved to be loved back by someone that was not me. But then it affected our close friendship. I still couldn't understand how we started as very close friends to eventually become strangers. I missed our friendship. You were the only person I could seriously talk to about my problems, now you're out of my life. I know we ended senior year in good terms, what happened?
Then came the time when she stopped you from communicating with me. I greeted you one morning in school and you greeted me back by telling me you unfriended me on Facebook because she wanted you to stop talking to me in any form of conversation. The whole time we talked I was smiling. Until later on, I realized you just removed me from your life, permanently. I hated you both. I hated her more. But I still respected your relationship by not talking to you because that was what you wanted and I was just giving you what you asked for. Then came the rumors when you told your friends that I was mad at you and didn't talk to you because I was jealous of your relationship. I wasn't. I hated you even more. Maybe you told all your friends that I was jealous and they believed you. I wasn't even able to speak up about my side. Why didn't you tell them that it was her who stopped you from talking to me? I was always the bad guy in your relationship even when I did nothing and kept my distance. Even when I wanted to lash out and fight you so bad, I stayed silent because I was trying to be the mature one.
Honestly, there are times when I miss you but only as a friend. I miss our friendship so much. But from the way you treated me after senior year, all I could feel is hate. How can someone I know so well turn into someone like the person you are now? There's only one thing I ask from you, I don't want to be involved in your relationship issues anymore. I'm so tired of you two always dragging me into something I don't know a thing about. I no longer talk to you but I was still the bad guy. Just let me be invisible.